Dear "What Is Breakfast" Committee:

Is a pastry and Gatorade breakfast?

Signed,
Anonymous
(Jason)

Chanelle: Good question. See, it's a bit of a split decision. Pastry, yes. This is a very traditional breakfast food. Gatorade? No. Absolutely not.

Jessy: Yeah. Maybe if you're going to play breakfast sports. Also, I am guessing that the pastry came in a plastic wrapper, from a gas station. Does that effect the committee's decision?

Chanelle: Hmmm...I'm not sure. I don't want to completely look down on gas station pastry, you know. That would seem really classist, don't you think?

Jessy: Ohhh. You're right. I guess I was okay with seeming classist. But you're right. I feel convicted now.

Chanelle: Oh, sorry. Not my intention at all. But I guess, to be responsible committee members, we have to take these things into consideration.

So the Committee's Final Decision is:

A Pastry and Gatorade is 50% Breakfast.
(Pastry = 50% Breakfast / Gatorade = 50% Not Breakfast)

Dear "What Is Breakfast" Committee:

Is a Snickers and green tea breakfast?

Signed,
Anonymous
(Jason)

The Committee's Vote is Unanimous:

A Snickers bar and a cup of green tea is Not Breakfast.

(Ed. It has been brought to the attention of the Committee that the green tea was not actually a cup of green tea; rather, it was a cold Lipton Green Tea with Honey. In a plastic bottle. Taking this new evidence into account, the revised decision of the Committee is that a Snickers bar and a cold Lipton Green Tea with Honey is Not Breakfast.)