Can Breakfast and Burgers peacefully co-exist?

Dearest Breakfast Committee:

Just read about this in the Chicago Tribune's "Memorable breakfast sandwiches" article, and I'm so confused!

 

Honey Cafe's breakfast burger 

Love burgers so much you can't wait until breakfast is over and lunch to start? Glen Ellyn's Honey Cafe will scratch that itch. What qualifies this as breakfast is the fried egg and maple syrup-mayo, but the rest is bona fide, all-American hamburger, six ounces of grilled Dietzler Farm beef and applewood-smoked bacon on a Labriola brioche bun. A choice of fries or salad accompanies — for your own good, go with the salad. $12.95, 499 Main St., Glen Ellyn, 630-469-0000, honeycafe.net

WHAT IS IT?

Please send help,
Just Read About This


Dear Just Read About This,

I understand your perplexed feelings. I, for one, am all in favor of Breakfast burgers, Breakfast pizzas, and pretty much anything else that involves piling fried eggs and bacon on top of other delicious foods.

In fact, I recently had an amazing Breakfast burger, and I highly recommend it, but there are several differences I see here…

Let’s break it down:

1. Bun
The Breakfast burger I had was served on an English Muffin, which is clearly a Breakfast item. Honey’s, however, is served on brioche. Unless converted to French Toast, brioche has no loyalty to the Breakfast table. FAIL.

2. Presence of eggs
Your Breakfast burger in question does, in fact, come topped with a fried egg. PASS.

3. Presence of bacon
Double check. PASS.

4. Spread
Maple syrup mayo, eh? This does contain maple syrup. However, it also contains mayo. Which makes it terrible, and only half Breakfast. DRAW.

5. Sides
My Breakfast burger was served with Breakfast-friendly home fries. Your choices of sides in this case are very lunch-y french fries or a salad, when any self-respecting breakfaster knows: the options should clearly be skillet potatoes or fruit. FAIL.

As you can see, according to my checklist, this is a toss-up. The onus of tiebreaker falls on the customer in this case, with one final item on the list: beverage. If you order an OJ and coffee, I will let this slide as Breakfast. If you order a Coke, just get out.

VERDICT: Maybe Breakfast, if you try. But probably not. Because trying should not be required in Breakfast-eating.

Your Brother in Breakfast,
Guest Committee Member Chad


Just Read About This:

Burgers and Breakfast are sworn enemies. This feud dates back to the Prohibition era, when all things delicious were illegal and the Breakfast and Burger families both depended on illicit sales of their goods to survive. Pa Burger came up with the bright idea to marry his daughter, Bitty Burger, into the Breakfast clan, in hopes that it would save his dying empire. But Father Breakfast knew that the Burger family was running low on quality, black market meat (and also that his son, Roger, did not really love Bitty Burger). So, fearing that the Burgers would eventually ruin the good name of Breakfast, Father Breakfast wisely did not allow the alliance to form.

So, no, it's Not Breakfast.

With condolences,
Co-chair Jessy


The Committee has decided:

A Honey's Cafe Breakfast Burger is Not Breakfast. 

Because Breakfast isn't about trying: It's about history.

Brussel Sprouts! Bacon! Breakfast?

Concerned Breakfasters, please join me in welcoming Guest Committee Member Kasey!

Kasey knows that it's Not Breakfast when she eats a cookie, but perhaps her most important qualification for the Committee is that she is one half of Shorties Review Chicago, where she and Co-chair Jessy write one-sentence reviews of Chicago art, theatre, live music, film, and the occasional sandwich. So she is very experienced at having opinions about things.

Speaking of which, there is a Concerned Breakfaster in Chicago who needs their help....


Dear What Is Breakfast,

I made Brussel Sprouts with Thick Cut Apple Wood Smoked Bacon for dinner. There are leftovers and I'm about to give in and eat it all for breakfast. Its 10:11AM. This actually seems like Breakfast in disguise, but you're the experts—is this Breakfast?

-Confused Human in Chicago


Dear Confused Human in Chicago:

Let me start by saying how much I admire your conservative, efficient attitude towards leftovers. Many people wouldn't have even considered this option while contemplating Breakfast. Some callous souls may have even left the potential meal to gray and spoil in the back of their fridge—mocking it with new takeout and fresh groceries.

That said, I think we have an interesting dilemma on our hands. How can you translate this once-dinner into Breakfast without reducing the qualifications of the glorious morning meal to a mere timeframe? Just because you eat it at 10am, doesn't mean it is truly Breakfast.

Let's examine the components involved:

Brussel Sprouts: This delicious vegetable is quite a unique one. In addition to having all the nutrients of its leafy green friends, these little buds also offers some protein. When weighing early morning dining options, protein should always be a factor. Think of it as a jump start to a day of productive eating.

Thick Cut Apple Wood Smoked Bacon: I can tell you are proud of this bacon. I'm not sure if you cut or smoked the bacon yourself, but you demonstrate a clear respect for this half of the meal. Each descriptor and every capital letter in your email is a textual tip-of-the-hat to what I can only assume was a superb decision in pork. In my opinion, bacon is always a tasty and traditional addition to a true Breakfast. And yet, as bacon becomes more and more trendy, I become more and more skeptical of its allegiance to Breakfast. Today's uninhibited bacon garnishes everything from sandwiches to cupcakes. What was once a classic Breakfast meat is now the bakery sideshow freak. My inner activist argues that you must eat this dish for the benefit of Breakfast itself. You must do it to save the bacon and remind it where it came from, its origin, its home. That isn't what this committee is about, however, and I'm not here to prescribe my bacon-related idealist philosophies.

The bottom line is that this meal actually does boast several desirable Breakfast facets: protein, fiber, vitamin C, a traditional Breakfast meat, and a couple different food groups. I suggest you round out the meal with a glass of OJ, or perhaps a piece of fruit for balance, and enjoy your Breakfast. It may be an unorthodox pairing with which to start the day, but you have my support. Breakfast away, my friend. 

Sincerely,
Guest Committee Member Kasey


Confused Human:

As much as I respect my Guest Committee Member's thorough rationale and her personal beliefs about bacon, I cannot bring myself to agree. Brussels Sprouts, while delicious and nutritious, are Not Breakfast. Leftover Dinner is also Not Breakfast, because it has already been Dinner. Bacon is, I agree, most typically Breakfast, but it does have the power to resist two Not Breakfast forces on its own greasy strength.

My final vote is: Brussel Sprouts and Bacon are Awesome but Not Awesome Enough to be Breakfast.

Love,
Jessy


The Committee is Conflicted Inside:

Bacon is Breakfast. Brussel Sprouts are Good for You. Brussel Sprouts and Thick Cut Apple Wood Smoked Bacon Could Possibly be Breakfast.

(But it's not.)

(But Jessy doesn't get to just make decisions by herself; that's why we have a Committee.)

(But it's not!)