Monday, October 20, 2008

A Sidebar on the topic of:

recent breakfast-related conversations overheard by a member of the Committee:

at a Neil Gaimain Q & A session:



Q: What is your perfect breakfast?

A: [blah blah, some clever stuff, and then...] A cheese omelet. Made by me.

(Congratulations, Neil Gaiman! You know What Is Breakfast!)


getting ready for work one morning, with my roommate, while making lunch for the day:

Roommate: Is a glob of peanut butter that fell off the knife Breakfast?

Jessy: I don't know... that's not very substantial...

Roommate: What if I drink a glass of water to wash it down?

Jessy: Make it a mouthful of orange juice, and we'll call it Breakfast.

(Please note that these conversations all took place outside of an official What Is Breakfast Committee meeting and as such should be considered the opinions of Neil Gaiman, Jessy, and Jessy respectively. These determinations are off the record and have not in any way been approved by the Committee - who would probably be okay with the cheese omelet, but might be a little suspicious of the glob of peanut butter.)


The Committee was also interested to find that 61% of the public are confident that Applesauce Cake and Bloody Marys are Breakfast, while only 53% are willing to bestow that same confidence in Turkey Bacon (not to be confused with veggie bacon). We were somewhat relieved that only 15% of you venture to put Red Bull into the same category. (Although the Committee is somewhat suspicious that the defiant 15% may be related to one of the co-chairs. As this is an anonymous poll, we'll refrain from naming names. However, if you happen to be related to Jessy, and you voted that Red Bull was Breakfast, please raise your hand.)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Committee,

Does spiking hot cocoa with Bailey's negate its position in the breakfast canon?

Please do bear in mind, it was significantly more cocoa than Bailey's.

A Friend

Jessy: A Friend’s inquiry is certainly intriguing. It brings up an important question: is hot chocolate a breakfast food? Also, is hot chocolate by itself breakfast, regardless of the presence or absence of booze?

Chanelle: An excellent question indeed. As for hot chocolate alone, I’m leaning toward Not Breakfast. Especially if it was, for instance, comprised of water and a Swiss Miss Packet. Though I suspect that’s not really A Friend’s style.

Jessy: Right. Given the party in question, we can make some assumptions, such as it was probably not a Swiss Miss packet. It was probably more like organic Cadbury dark chocolate slowly melted into a pot of simmering whole milk... that was brought directly from a neighbouring farm that morning, after being extracted from the cow. But I'm still not sure where I stand on the beverage-only breakfast, or even on the hot-chocolate-as-breakfast-accompaniment.

Chanelle: Didn't we have a discussion about one of Anonymous(Jason)’s breakfast entries, saying that it would have been more valid if he had only had coffee?

Jessy: Oh, maybe. But it was something super-not-valid, so.... the only place to go was up.

Chanelle: was like coffee and Cheetos.... I think we might need to nix A Friend’s alcoholic hot chocolate.

Jessy: Without making any judgment on his or her character, obviously.

Chanelle: Obviously.

Jessy: Because who among us has not had a drink or two in the morning?

Chanelle: Hmmmm.

Jessy: Or five, if it's New Years.

Chanelle: Who among us?

Jessy: Or 4th of July. Or Columbus Day.

Chanelle: Um... Sure. You know, if it was a holiday... like Thanksgiving or Christmas... I think the alcoholic hot chocolate might be admissible.

Jessy: Right. Mimosas on new years? Totally acceptable. Although still... a mimosa does not a breakfast make. If it comes with scones or eggs, then it’s breakfast.

Chanelle: Let's just say it's Not Breakfast.

Jessy: I agree.

Chanelle: Cool.

Due to the alcoholic content, the lack of documentation regarding any solid-food accompaniment, and the wobbliness of hot chocolate's standing in the breakfast canon, the Committee’s Decision is:

Hot Chocolate Spiked with Bailey’s is Not Breakfast.

"You really think hot chocolate so wobbly?"
"I think it needs a firm foundation to rest upon. Like, firmer than liquor."