Tuesday, May 5, 2009

As many of our loyal fans have so kindly pointed out, there has not been a What Is Breakfast Committee meeting for some time now. The truth is, the Kathie Lee to my Regis (Chanelle) is a PhD student, and that commitment unfortunately has drawn her away from the hallowed halls of Breakfast. Consider it a sabbatical without any specific end in sight. Now, I'm not looking for a Kelly Ripa (dear god, when will this analogy end?), but I would like to bring some Guest Host Committee Members on board, so that we can get the judgments rolling again. Any feedback as to their breakfasty performance would be appreciated. But please be polite (, Jordan and David). And bear in mind that these kind-hearted folks are not trained breakfast-determination professionals like Chanelle and myself.

That said, let's introduce today's guest host: Stacie W!
Although Stacie does not often eat breakfast herself, she is adept at taking photos of breakfast, and filming people who are making and/or talking about breakfast. (She is, in fact, director and editor of the award-winning "Cooking with Jessypants" web serial.) She also enjoys eating breakfast-approved foods for dinner, with a particular preference for cereal and huevos rancheros.
And now, on to the query...

Dear "What Is Breakfast" Committee,

My friend and I have an ongoing dispute about the exceptional nature of breakfast following a night spent amongst friends. While he argues that the essential food and customs of breakfast are immutable, I hold that in the afterglow of a New Year's Eve or reunion party, it is wholly acceptable to indulge in a breakfast with personality: a breakfast that proclaims and reaffirms all that is good about parties, sprinkles, icing, confetti and the color blue. The breakfast to which I refer is, of course, that of Mayfield's Birthday Cake Ice Cream. While neither nutritious nor particularly fitting for such an early hour in any other circumstance, it seems a shame to simply eat cereal after waking up after only two hours of sleep because no one could stop talking (or playing games or watching scary movies) the night before. Barring a trip to Waffle House (which is better done in the wee small hours of the morning anyway), Birthday Cake Ice Cream is a breakfast both satisfying and in keeping with the atmosphere of the sleepover. As a small practical point in my favor, it is also a dairy product -- doesn't that count for something? In the absence of someone who has the skill and energy to make cinnamon rolls, it is not only allowable but desirable to resort to a frozen dessert of the caliber of ice cream that also claims to be cake. Because, really, toast or eggs would just kill the mood.

An Endorser of the Exceptional Breakfast

Stacie: Dear Endorser of the Exceptional Breakfast (and it sounds like it is),

Are we talking about an ice cream cake? Or cake that looks like ice cream or ice cream in the shape of a cake? Anyway it goes, it sounds like it does have some noteworthy ingredients that would make it possibly breakfast. Dairy is in fact, great for calcium, as are eggs (if any part of this is real cake but now that I'm thinking about it, it's probably just ice cream cake). Unfortunately, there is quite a bit of sugar involved. And while I'm not one to go against sugar by any means, I'm guessing this has more sugar than the normal sugared cereal, which then makes my vote as such:

Final Vote: Not Breakfast. But it's probably a good breakfast accompaniment.

Jessy: Endorser, I'm glad to hear about your lively circle of friends and your admirable enthusiasm for life. I can definitely understand your reluctance to "kill the mood" after an impromptu sleepover. But you know what really kills the mood? Type 2 Diabetes. Make an omelet.

Final vote: Not Breakfast.

The Committee's Final Decision Is:

Mayfield's Birthday Cake Ice Cream is Not Even a Little Bit Like Breakfast.
And Stacie may need a nutritional consultant.