Jordan has the distinction of being the very first person to send in a What Is Breakfast query that actually turned out to be Breakfast. He has also personally taken Co-Chair Jessy to many excellent Breakfast Joints in the greater Chicago area. (Did you know that they have a great pancake place there? You might have heard of it. It's international. Kind of a house of sorts.) You can look for him and his hot, breakfast-eating fiancee as co-chairs of the upcoming, much-anticipated What Is A Date Committee.Now that Jordan's impressive credentials have earned him your unwavering trust and loyalty, let's get to a query that has been oh-so-patiently waiting for a response...
Dear Esteemed community of breakfasters,
My mother gives me gifts in the form of Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars quite often. I liked them at first but quickly tired of them. (CONFESSION: I don't even eat breakfast anymore!) Now I give them away to guests and even bring them to parties sometimes in the effort to rid myself of them. Despite my efforts there remains a sizable pile of boxes in my pantry.
It has occurred to me that I could tell my mother that I don't like them anymore, but if they are truly breakfast bars I feel I should continue to indulge her in the hopes that one day I might actually eat breakfast.
So, prodigious bread-breakers, can you tell me if Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are indeed breakfast?
Sinceviously,
Conscientious in Concord
Jessy: I'm going to have to say that a Nature's Valley Crunchy Granola Bar is Breakfast. However, I would like Conscientious to be aware that nothing-for-breakfast is Not Breakfast. Also, the half of the committee that has been to Conscientious's apartment would like to know why they were never offered a Nature's Valley Crunchy Granola Bar. How far does this anti-breakfast prejudice extend?
Final vote: Breakfast.
Jordan: It's Breakfast, but might require an early lunch.
Final vote: Breakfast.
The Committee's Final Decision Is:
Nature's Valley Crunchy Granola Bar is Breakfast. Nothing is Not Breakfast.