Dear "What Is Breakfast" Committee:
Is a pastry and Gatorade breakfast?
Signed,
Anonymous
(Jason)
Chanelle: Good question. See, it's a bit of a split decision. Pastry, yes. This is a very traditional breakfast food. Gatorade? No. Absolutely not.
Jessy: Yeah. Maybe if you're going to play breakfast sports. Also, I am guessing that the pastry came in a plastic wrapper, from a gas station. Does that effect the committee's decision?
Chanelle: Hmmm...I'm not sure. I don't want to completely look down on gas station pastry, you know. That would seem really classist, don't you think?
Jessy: Ohhh. You're right. I guess I was okay with seeming classist. But you're right. I feel convicted now.
Chanelle: Oh, sorry. Not my intention at all. But I guess, to be responsible committee members, we have to take these things into consideration.
So the Committee's Final Decision is:
A Pastry and Gatorade is 50% Breakfast.
(Pastry = 50% Breakfast / Gatorade = 50% Not Breakfast)
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We, The What Is Breakfast Committee, have no desire to deny that our judgements are both culturally and historically specific, bound to the dining norms of the United States of the late 20th and early 21st centuries. We are mindful, too, that traditions change over time and that culinary choices are often subject to economic, regional, ethical, and practical considerations. We thus attempt in our judgements to balance our understanding of established tradition with the general praxis of alimentary decision-making that is daily negotiated by the average American.
When in doubt, we flip a coin.
When in doubt, we flip a coin.
2 comments:
what about am gatorade that is made specifically for drinking in the am?
A.M. is a little vague. Essentially it means any time before noon, which does not necessarily indicate breakfast. Also, if we were to identify everything that tries to sell itself as a breakfast food as Breakfast, then we would have to allow mcdonald's chicken "breakfast" sandwiches into the category as well. Which, I believe we've already established, is not going to happen.
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