Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Dear "What Is Breakfast" Committee:

Is a pastry and Gatorade


Chanelle: Good question. See, it's a bit of a split decision. Pastry, yes. This is a very traditional breakfast food. Gatorade? No. Absolutely not.

Jessy: Yeah. Maybe if you're going to play breakfast sports. Also, I am guessing that the pastry came in a plastic wrapper, from a gas station. Does that effect the committee's decision?

Chanelle: Hmmm...I'm not sure. I don't want to completely look down on gas station pastry, you know. That would seem really classist, don't you think?

Jessy: Ohhh. You're right. I guess I was okay with seeming classist. But you're right. I feel convicted now.

Chanelle: Oh, sorry. Not my intention at all. But I guess, to be responsible committee members, we have to take these things into consideration.

So the Committee's Final Decision is:

A Pastry and Gatorade is 50% Breakfast.
(Pastry = 50% Breakfast / Gatorade = 50% Not Breakfast)


rae said...

what about am gatorade that is made specifically for drinking in the am?

jls said...

A.M. is a little vague. Essentially it means any time before noon, which does not necessarily indicate breakfast. Also, if we were to identify everything that tries to sell itself as a breakfast food as Breakfast, then we would have to allow mcdonald's chicken "breakfast" sandwiches into the category as well. Which, I believe we've already established, is not going to happen.