Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dear What Is Breakfast Committee,

I just fished a full bite of chocolate chip cookie from the bottom of my coffee with a spoon that had crusty refried beans and green-chili sauce on it. This happened at roughly 2:55 p.m and did indeed bring a fast to a successful termination. Is this breakfast?

Clearly I then ate the bite of chocolate chip cookie. And it tasted nice.

Malnourished in Montauk

Chanelle: While the defendant in this case rightly reminds us of the etymology of the word "breakfast" as referring to the breaking of a fast, it has long been recognized that the fast in question alludes to the automatic, involuntary fast produced by the state of sleep. Perhaps, however, the defendant had just awoken from sleep at 2:55 pm and could argue that the consumed item broke the specific sleep-induced fast implied in the literal meaning of "breakfast." To this I say: it matters not. No no no and no. Final Vote: Absolutely Not Breakfast.

Jessy: That is, indeed, Absolutely Not Breakfast. However, if we ever decide to form a sister committee called the What Is Disgusting Committee, that would definitely qualify.

The Commitee's Resolve is Unshakable:

Coffee-drenched (?) cookie piece with refried bean-and-green-chili-sauce residue consumed at 2:55 pm is Absolutely Not Breakfast.

No comments: