During the What Is Breakfast Breakfast Committee's long months of silence (a very dark period in the lives of the Breakfast-challenged), we received one or two derogatory and/or threatening e-mails from former fans who were understandably disappointed by our quietude. At the time, it was difficult to know how to respond, as the best response seemed to be to resume our answers to legitimate Breakfast queries. But now that we have moved past that time of fasting, the Committee feels that it is time to start directly responding to these accusations. Today I will do so with the help of Filmmaker and Guest Committee Member David Ells (aka "Conscientious in Concord"), who I felt could be more objective in this situation than a Co-chair.


Dear What Is Breakfast Committee:

Is the "What is Breakfast Committee" a real breakfast committee or do you just pose as one for a few days out of the year when you're bored? For example, do you meet regularly (at least bi-weekly)? Do you benefit the community with special events or contests? DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST??

Sincerely,
Skeptical in Saskatchewan


Hello Sassy,

I haven’t decided whether or not whining questions from petulant children is breakfast, so I cannot yet give a verdict on this inquiry. But I can certainly answer your questions. The “What is Breakfast Committee” has long taken pride in its perfectly attended meetings. Meetings take place once daily shortly after breakfast. It is during these meetings that we hold one another accountable to true breakfast as well as review all letters of inquiry. Meetings last for approximately 3 hours and are followed by rigorous oral hygiene.

As far as the community goes, we take part in the annual Box Tops For Education drive as well as the weekly Granola For Grandmas. We have no contests.

Sincerely,
David Ells


Dear Skeptical:

I don't feel it necessary to add to Guest Committee Member Ells's verbal response, which did an excellent job of covering the full scope of what we do here at The What Is Breakfast Committee. However, I would like to offer you some photographic evidence in support of his statement, which I hope will reassure you as to the seriousness of the Committee's pursuit of Breakfast:

Co-chair Chanelle enjoying a three-hour Committee meeting, pre-oral-hygiene.

Breakfast.

Co-chair Jessy is proud to benefit the community by supporting worthy local breakfast joint, "Le Peep."

Breakfast.

In summation, The What Is Breakfast Committee Is a Real Breakfast Committee.

ANY QUESTIONS??

Sincerely,
Jessy, Co-chair, The What Is Breakfast Committee