Monday, October 26, 2009


Attention, What Is Breakfast Committee fans and loved ones! Today is a very big day in the life of continuing Breakfast studies, as today marks the return of original Co-chair Chanelle! The co-chairs are being reunited in determination form for the first time in over a year, and are very glad to see each other. We are delighted to have Chanelle back with us, and honoured that she would take time out of her busy PhDing schedule to consult with us on a topic entirely unrelated to the field of Victorian literature.

Hurrah! And now let's hurry on to the query before she has to get back to reading "Dracula." (Not Breakfast, p.s.)

Dear What Is Breakfast Committee:

Is the bible with a side of Jesus and self-flagellation, followed by a banana and Green Tea breakfast?


Jessy: The banana and green tea seems like Breakfast, if a bit Skimpy. (Breakfast Lite, perhaps.) The What Is Breakfast Committee is a non-religious organization that cannot comment on the appropriateness of Bible and/or Jesus with Breakfast, unless "Jesus" is a euphemism for red wine and unleavened bread. (In which case: Unleavened Bread Is Breakfast. Red Wine Is Not Breakfast.) I would, however, like to point out that self-flagellation has proven ill-effects on the digestive system, and should be ingested with caution.

While the Bible itself often refers to spiritual revelation as "food" (cf. 1 Cor. 10:3-4, Heb. 5:12-4), this is widely held to be a clever deployment of metaphor. Metaphor, of course, deriving from the Latin metaphora (meaning to "carry over"), is a figure of speech that compares two essentially unlike things, claiming the one to be the other. Metaphor, then, constitutes a logical fallacy meant to bring to the fore the characteristic shared by the two. Thus, the Bible, while like food, is not actually food. So, the Bible is Not Breakfast. And, for the record, metaphor, while a primary building block of poetry and all other good things under the sun, is also Not Breakfast.

Jessy: Excellent points, my dear Co-chair. Upon further consideration, I'd also like to add that although Jesus is known as "The Bread of Life," He is also a person. And, as previously discussed, Cannibalism is Not Breakfast.

To sum up:

Unleavened Bread is Breakfast. Red Wine is Not Breakfast. Self-flagellation is Not Breakfast. The Bible is Not Breakfast. Metaphor is Not Breakfast. Cannibalism is Not Breakfast. A Banana and Green Tea Is Breakfast, But You Will Probably Be Hungry In Like An Hour And A Half.

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