Friday, December 17, 2010

Repentance, Resolutions, and Coffee For Breakfast

The WIBC apologizes, yet again, for its tardiness in replying to its many queries. But it recognizes that after so many apologies, it is time to stop apologizing and truly repent.

Thus, in the spirit of pre-new-year resolutions, the Committee is going to boldly attempt to provide you, in the year of our Lord two-thousand-and-eleven, with a new Breakfast Determination each Friday.

So send in those queries, breakfast-curious. The answers are on their way!

In other news, the Committee has decided to give Guest Committee Member David Ells another chance. He may have a split-personality disorder, but it is knowledge of Breakfast that counts in this industry.

Enough business. ON TO THE QUERY!


Dear Committee,


Coffee = breakfast.

Of course!

Riiight??

Signed,
Confused Gypsy in NoCal


Jessy: I know I'm going to draw some fire for this one, but I'm going to go ahead and say it: in my opinion, Coffee, while standing as a key ingredient in many Breakfasts, is Not Breakfast on its own. In fact, I would submit that a Beverage can only support a meal, not stand alone as a meal on its own merits.

For example, if you drink orange juice for "breakfast" without any solid food accompaniment, you are not eating Breakfast, but rather are participating in a temporary juice fast. Although juice fasts have many excellent health benefits, being Breakfast is not one of them.

Similarly, if you had coffee for "breakfast," it's more like you started Breakfast and forgot to finish. And, as we all know, "almost only counts in horseshoes." So think about that next time you're playing horseshoes, Gypsy.


David Ells: "If it's not in your cup, you're out of luck. And if you need a maxim in time, just use slant rhyme" as they say. So, no, yeah, totally. Breakfast.


The What Is Breakfast Committee Has Determined:

Coffee By Itself is Not Breakfast. Nor Are Slant Rhymes.

On an unrelated note, The Committee is now accepting applications for new Guest Committee Members.

2 comments:

carly said...

while we have been known to quarrel over the appropriate components of dessert, I would be proud to tender my application for the office of WIBC guest committee member:
1. cereal is, like, my favourite snack (and, while I often eat it at night, that would not cloud my judgement in the matter of applicable breakfast times)
2. As far as brunch goes (besides being awesome), if it is the first meal of the day and is started before noon, it is more breakfast than lunch, but if it includes things like roast beef and pasta, it forfeits its breakfast status.
3. I own a dvd of one of the co-chairs making huevos rancheros
4. this morning I had oatmeal with bananas and cranberries and a cup of tea. My verdict: WICKED BREAKFAST.

The What Is Breakfast Committee said...

what a charming and convincing application! YOU'RE HIRED.